Dating and the first five years of our marriage were bliss. I had no one else to take care of but my husband and myself. I would do everything during the day at home and at the office to make sure that when my husband got home, I could show him how much work I had done. I enjoyed it. I received a tremendous amount of affirmations from him and gratitude. We built a very successful business together.

Then things started changing. The scope of work has shifted from office management to software creation, from no kids to three kids in 3 years. Our relationship took a turn down. For the next 7 years I had gone to a marriage therapist who told me to immediately divorce my husband, to the family counselor who allowed us to point fingers at each other, to numerous coaching sessions with coaches who had no clue how to help. Needless to say, it cost a lot of time and money.

We were exhausted, so mad at each other and disappointed. The work was not going well. We worked together but I resented every second of it. I cried every time we sat together at the computer. I was wondering how could he not see that…? I was doing things I did not enjoy or felt qualified to do. He was mad that I wasn’t supporting him enough.

In my eyes everything he said to our employees was wrong. I was on the other side “protecting” them from my husband as if he were to hurt them. I was looking at his criticism of them as criticism of me; that I didn’t do a good job, or I would have to do more work. He kept saying: “You are on their side” and I didn’t see it at all. Not until I read Laura’s book. It was never as clear as that. Pictures of all the times I put him down in front of others as a payback for him “making me” work on the software flashed before my eyes.

Our 10th wedding anniversary was the worst day of my life. It was the day my husband told me that I had ruined his life. That it was 100% my fault. We were in a beautiful, very expensive restaurant arguing…

I truly felt like a victim. I spent years in life coaching. Instead of improving myself and growing the business, family, etc. I kept trying to fix our marriage and figure out a way of how we COULD work together. Nothing was really working. They were not relationship coaches, they were life coaches who knew how to achieve goals but not necessarily fix a marriage. I had some very short-term results and then went back to the beginning.

Then finally, one day my life coach told me about “Empowered Wives” book. I listened to it over 2 days. I was in shock!!! I felt so empowered! Just a few days before that happened, we were interviewing 2 marriage counselors to help us on our marriage. Then when I read the book, I apologized to my husband and said: “We don’t need any counselors, I got this.” In disbelief and shock he asked: “What do I need to change about myself?” I responded: “Nothing. I love you just the way you are.” That was the beginning of recovering our marriage.

Then the day came when I started the LDC coaching program. On the call, Laura asked me: “If you had a magic wand, what would you do? How would you see your situation?” For the first time I let the words come out from my mouth and I said: “We wouldn’t work together at all…” That was the moment when I realized I needed to step away from the business. It was so scary as we had nothing in common with my husband except for talking about the business. Even though we started working together after we got married, I felt that we practically had a business relationship. We didn’t really know each other. We had family but because there was so much hurt and resentment we couldn’t talk about the kids either. Everything seemed like an attack on me. Everything I did was met with criticism, at least so I thought, and subsequently tears on my side.

Through the coaching program, I learned a lot about application of the tools. I learned how to listen and be heard. I had a lot of ups and downs. Four months into the program I was on top of the world. I stepped away from the business, took dancing classes, restarted my modeling career, and started to pay more attention to the kids and my husband. We became more intimate. Life was good.

Then one day, my husband told me: “None of this Laura stuff works! You may be happy but I’m not. This is not working for me. You need to drop this program asap. You left me and the business.” I felt soooo sad and defeated. Here I thought we were doing so well, and everything was a waste.

We entered a cold war for about 3 weeks. I could not believe that we went from such a great place, and what I thought, a better relationship, to nothing. Fortunately, I had my group of coaches who helped me get through this dip. I also, for the first time in years, had a preview of what a beautiful relationship could be like so I had hope and something to look forward to.

Now, 4 years later, my husband, who never used to open the doors for me, does it with a smile on his face. He buys me flowers and talks to me for hours. Before he tried to get me to listen to the news so I could stay current and be able to talk to him. Now he listens to everything about polarity between men and women, where the world is going in respect to that, and updates me on the news. He talks to me about the things that really interest me. In return, now I want to learn things that interest him.

Recently, we were lying in bed and he looked at me with loving eyes and said: “Thank you for taking care of our family. I’d much rather have you here [in my arms] than in the office.”

Those were the most beautiful words I could ever hear. Acceptance, love, admiration, intimacy – all I ever dreamed of. Our 14th
wedding anniversary turned out to be the most beautiful day of my life. We were hugging with my husband in the kitchen, just looking lovingly in each other’s eyes, when our kids (7, 5, 4) started coming up to us and hugging in. They looked up at us with loving eyes of safety and peace. That picture is forever engraved in my mind. And it was all possible because of the skills.